Shoes versus groceries

“When you pay for shoes, it doesn’t hurt, but when you buy groceries it’s really painful.” said one young woman to the other as they paid at the checkout counter ahead of me at the grocery store.

Looking at it from the outside, listening to two women in their early twenties, I could just brush it off as two young, self-centered people more interested in their looks than the more important things of sustenance. But, to a certain extent, we are all like that. We all set our internal priorities and make our decisions accordingly.

For example, I don’t think twice about buying musical equipment for my son because he is good at drumming, and it helps him do better. I also don’t think twice about buying things my wife wants because she’s generally very thorough and doesn’t ask for frivolous things, whether its clothing or things for the house.

I also don’t think very much about buying new woodworking tools when I need them. On the other hand, I constantly put off buying new clothes, even work clothes. I know I need new shoes and maybe a new suit, but I keep putting it off. I have told my wife that it’s painful to spend $35 for a new pair of slacks, but it doesn’t seem to hurt to buy my son a $500 electric piano. Why?

It comes back to my internal priorities. I don’t see much value in new clothes for me, but I see great value in musical instruments for my son or a new blade for my table saw. Looking at it from the outside, I can see that I need to keep my professional appearance up, and that perhaps I need to invest in that some more. Yes, I can see that, but it does not align with my internal priorities. However, there was a time when I spent a large part of my income on new clothes.

Acting as a father, I can sacrifice for my family. I can put myself last for most things. However, as a leader, I have to be able to step outside of myself and my internal priorities. I have to examine my decisions to make sure that I am not letting my priorities get in the way of the right decision.

For example, I am a late adopter of some technologies. While I was among the first in my area to buy the first Mac computers that came out, I was skeptical of faxes, cell phones and email. I put off using them when they first came out. I did not want a cell phone, and I kept avoiding the internet. My wife forced me to get a cell phone, and my bosses forced me to use email. In retrospect, it was my internal priorities that valued face-to-face contact. It was my kids who forced me to use texting. I should have had a blog years ago when I first found out about them. I have had to change my internal priorities about many of those things. It is also jarring to learn that I am behind the times and not adapting to change when I should. It is humbling to ask my sons for direction on some things.

What decisions or choices are you not making because of your internal priorities. Too many teams still shy away from certain technologies or opportunities because of their or their leader’s internal priorities that do not value those technologies or opportunities. Too many companies are still under-technologized (Is that a real word? You understand what I mean.), understaffed, undermarketed, etc.

Too many of our leaders’ priorities were set under different circumstances, in a different economy, under different political circumstances, in different social environment, in a different technological era. It is time for them to look at their internal priorities and listen to what is going on now. A good leader looks at her/his internal priorities on a regular basis to make sure they still apply. While fundamental values always last, circumstances change, and we must adapt to that. Too many organizations, teams, groups, communities and companies are floundering because they remain stuck in a previous mind-frame.

Listen to those people around you who question you and how your do things. Like my sons questioning my refusal to use texting, you may find that their ideas are actually good.